Today, I left the house with my parents at noon o’clock. I had Wigfield and I Am America (And So Can You!) in my Stephen Colbert bag, ready to be signed by the man if the opportunity were to arise.
The Luna Theater is a tiny ass building on a stupid ass road that was really hard to find. I read directions to my step-dad who was driving and we ended up turning around and back around about a dozen times before we finally saw the sign poking off the corner of the building and we pulled into a parking lot next to it that had about four spaces.
My step-dad went up to the door, thinking that we could pick up our tickets since we were a few hours early and then go to a diner and come back around the time the doors to the theater would be opening. He went inside for about 30 seconds and then ran back out, waving his arms at us urgently. My mom and I got out of the car and followed him into the theater. The lobby was a room smaller than my living room and the box office desk was unattended. We followed my step-dad further into the building. The lights were mostly out but I could hear muffled voices.
My mom turned to me and mouthed “Is that him?” I tried my best not to jump up and down as I strained my ears to listen. We went further down a hall, following the voices. They got a little bit louder and our suspicions were confirmed. We could hear Stephen’s voice loud and clear. I grinned so hard I nearly pulled every muscle in my face and jumped up and down as quietly as I could.
We walked back to the front doors of the theater and listened again. There were a few different voices all talking inside the room. We could hear them through the closed doors. We went back out to the lobby and all started talking. Just a room away, I knew Stephen Colbert was rehearsing a play. I was geeking out. We sat and started waiting. I was secretly holding out the hope that Stephen would sense my presence and come out and make out with me.
There was another woman who came into the theater and was waiting with us. She too was hoping Stephen might come out because she liked to collect autographs of Broadway actors and people of that sort. She apparently lived in New York for a while. She talked a lot and we listened a lot and I liked her and thought she was really interesting.
Every so often all of us would hear a sound coming from inside the theater and jump, crossing our fingers that it was them coming out. The only thing that happened was that Maryann Plunkett came through, went outside, and came back with food. She kept her head down and didn’t look at any of us.
Eventually, someone who worked at the theater found us and told us the doors should have been locked and that we shouldn’t have been there and that we could get back in at 6:30 because that was when the theater would be opening and we could find our sweats.
So, we left. We went to eat at a place called Hat City Kitchen where there were really loud bands playing and our waiter was really cute. It wasn’t far away from the theater, so we just ate and went back.
Upon our re-arrival at the theater, we picked up our tickets and I bought four raffle tickets for a giveaway that was after the show. They were giving away 3 signed programs, signed by the cast and the director. I bought the raffle tickets, stopped in the bathroom (which was really nice and that is the only reason I am mentioning it), and then got in line to wait for the theater to open.
It was open seating and the room was extremely tiny. We got seats in the center, four rows back. Our buddy from earlier that day was on the end of the front row. Jay O’Sanders, the guy who was supposed to be in the play when it was Betrayal, was in the audience.
The stage was furnished with three chairs. Stephen was in the chair in the center, Evelyn was off to the right, and Maryann was on the left. The lights went down, the lights came up and BOOM. Stephen Colbert was wearing a plaid shirt with his pullover sweater on top, khaki pants, and those light brown shoes that he wears. You know the ones. He was holding his glasses, but not wearing them. His hair was not styled. He did not look anything like “Stephen Colbert”. He looked like a human being.
The play was phenomenal. I won’t break it down scene by scene for you or whatever, because that would just be boring to read but there are a few things I have to say. Firstly, Maryann Plunkett was amazing! Her character was incredible and I thought she did a fucking awesome job. Secondly, Evelyn McGee was kind of disappointing. I wish she had done a better job. It’s hard competing with as firece actors as Stephen and Maryann, but still.
And lastly, Stephen did a bit of singing and a bit of crying throughout the play. In the first act, he and Maryann were singing at each other, all a capella. His voice sounded beautiful. Then, at the end of the play, he cried. Honestly, heart wrenchingly, cried. It wasn’t anything like the silly crying he does on The Colbert Report. It was real. He is an amazing actor.
When the lights went down after the second act, they came back up and the three of them stood up, I watched Stephen mouth “thank you, thank you so much,” and all three of them walked off stage.
Two women came into the theater holding a small cup of the raffle tickets. It looked like barely anyone bought tickets. They read off the first number and it was mine. I won a signed copy of the program. My mom looked at Stephen’s name and said “The more scribbled the name, the greater the fame,” because it was a mess.
It was the best night ever. :D